More Precious Than Gold

“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” Do you remember that overused statement from A Christmas Story? If you don’t, watch this! 

Yesterday, I heard that statement going through my mind over and over and over and over and over again due to my decision of going to the eye doctor for an annual appointment but soon made a decision that I think will be a great decision on my part: I have decided to use contacts for a while in my life. Sure, I will have glasses but contacts are just something safer for me whenever I am doing any sport activities and I don’t have to worry about something hitting my glasses and them bending. So this is an investment that I am willing to make to where I can see the whole picture instead of looking through a framed world; after all, seeing the whole picture is a good thing, right? 

But back to my opening quote. 

While at the eye doctor going through the contact fitting portion of my appointment, it took me 45 minutes to get my contacts in both eyes. Sure, that is not too long compared to stories that I have heard where it took 2-3 hours to getting them in or ultimately having the assistants at the eye doctor put them in instead of the patient. I guess that is good for me that it only took 45 minutes for me, yet only took TWO minutes getting them out! 

Upon arriving back to my dorm, I decided to go frame less and wear my contacts for my first four hour period—apparently, you have to train your eyes not only getting used to “shooting your eye out” but your eyes must adjust to your newer prescription as well as having something in them. Anyway, last night it took me 12 minutes yesterday getting my contacts in my eyes and then today it took me 15 minutes getting them in! YAY ME!!! But apparently, “contacts are the worst part” of someone’s day, according to some of my friends.

My normal Friday night practice of doing absolutely nothing was interrupted last night when a friend of mine invited me to a campus sponsored party. Ya know? It was the most fun that I have had being in Berea! I loved it! Sure, I do not know how to dance—if you can it that—but it was fun dancing with friends and people who just needed to have something to do on a Friday night. It was fun. Just look at these photos of us dressed up and enjoying a night of fun and relaxation afterward. 

So this week as a whole has been pretty good. I have learned to do some re framing of my perceptions on life, met new friends, watched The Glee Project music videos in my Psychology class, enjoyed the company of friends watching the fourth season premiere of Glee, and then receiving contacts. This week has been pretty good and actually productive. It is my desire that this weekend will be such as productive. 

I have to study for my Psychology test that is coming up on Thursday.

Read two chapters for my Religion course.

Do a writing assignment for my Peace and Social Justice course.

Revise my internship research paper.

And then relax! 

So, with that in mind and after writing about “shooting my eye out,” learning to “dance,” and having a productive week, I need to start my productive weekend. Do have a good weekend. 

Love,

Matty

In Need of Answers....

Today, I received the monthly newsletter from the church that I used to attend back home. In it, I see three announcements for the churches celebration of 125^th anniversary for the churches founding. If you do not know, I stopped attending this church for a couple of different reasons.

I wanted Dual-Membership and the church that I attended back home did not like that; well the way I went about wanting to join a church with dual membership.

Apparently, I don’t believe the same beliefs of the church back home.

Apparently, I “put down” the church when I posted the following on Facebook: "it's when a sinner makes the Lord his choice, that's when the Angels rejoice!" and beliefs that if "anyone who confessed with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will be saved." Today, two children of God will obey God's Word in baptism at a church back home and I am so excited to know these two young adults. Thank God for being with prayers for them to come to God. However, I feel that baptism is NOT necessary for salvation. NOTE: Not trying to be controversial with this statues as I so seem to be.

Finally, with the sharing of this video, I was told that I do not know anything about religion and I have changed.

So when I finally made my decision that I had to make of keeping my membership up at the church that I attend now and then remove my membership from that church, I sent this letter of how I felt about it all and asked for my membership to be removed:

In this life things happen. Things that we cannot explain except by the power of God and I find a situation that was evolved around me to have been just that but let me explain more.

Due to me obeying God’s will, I asked for dual membership at -------Church-the church that I attend while in Berea-on February 26^th. ------- Church offers a dual membership policy at their church for anyone (mainly college students) who do not want to leave their home churches membership yet still wants to be a member at ------ Church. I had been thinking about making this decision for a while but was planning on making the decision upon more discussion with the pastor there and Brother ------- to think about it. However, I decided this was meant for me when participating in their annual Men’s Day through the Holy Spirit’s work.

I was excited for this as the Spirit led me to do such a thing and felt that this was what God wanted for my life. However, a controversy broke out.

Due to beliefs here (back home), some find that dual membership is wrong as a person cannot belong to two different churches especially being two different denominations. I find this mindset to be wrong, but want to show respect to the people whom I still love and adore and think as family whenever I am in Berea by not causing them any more pain.

I have thought long and hard over such a decision of where I want my membership to belong. Here-my home church-or do I want to belong to a church where I will be attending for the next three years? A decision has been made out of respect, love, and honor to the people involved.

My decision to heed to God’s will has not only affected me but this church as well and therefore I feel that I will ask that my membership be removed from --------- Church to where I can have membership at ----------- Church as dual membership is not possible at the moment.

I love each and every person here, member and non-member. I pray for each one of you daily and I hope that you pray for me too. I want to be able to feel welcomed and I want to be called family when I return home in the summer and breaks.

Thank you for supporting me in everything over the years and thank you for being a great church to come home to over breaks. I am sorry if I upset people here in making a decision to have dual membership but I wanted to be able to serve in both churches and make decisions at both churches. I love and respect everyone here greatly and I ask that you will continue to love and respect me as I go through this tough decision and become a member at a sister congregation.

God Bless.

I soon got this request from the pastor of the church back home:

MATT, IN RESPONSE TO YOUR LETTER WE RECEIVED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, WE WOULD LIKE TO REPLY. NO ONE AT *** CARED THAT YOU CHOSE TO JOIN -------, THE PROBLEM BEING IS THE WAY YOU WENT ABOUT DOING IT!
MATTHEW, WE FELT IT WAS WRONG FOR U TO GET ON THE INTERNET AND ANNOUNCE THAT U HAD JOINED
***, YOU DID NOT HAVE THE COURESTY TO TALK TO US OR ANYONE ELSE AT ***.WE FELT WE WERE CLOSER THAN THAT. WE WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT FEEL THAT THE BOND IS BROKEN.
YOU NOW HAVE A NEW FAMILY, AND A NEW CHURCH, AND NEW BELIEFS THAT ARE DIFFERENT FROM OUR BELIEFS.
WHEN U WROTE ABOUT [the two children from that church] BEING BAPTIZED, U SAID U DIDN'T THINK U NEEDED TO BE BAPTIZED TO BE SAVED.
THOSE THAT READ IT ON THE INTERNET,'' INCLUDING US'' FELT IT WAS A PUT DOWN OF WHAT WE AT *** STAND FOR. ARE WE ANY BETTER THAN CHRIST HIMSELF WHO HAD NO SIN BUT WANTED TO PLEASE OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN--MATT 3:13-17
NO ONE ASKED U AT *** TO LEAVE AND JOIN ANOTHER CHURCH, U MADE THAT CHOICE. U ALSO STATED TO THE WORLD THAT U NO LONGER BELIEVE LIKE WE DO AT ***--READ 1ST COR 12: 24-25.
THE ELDERS AND I GRANT YOUR REQUEST TO JOIN ANOTHER CHURCH, AND WE WILL BE REMOVING YOUR MEMBERSHIP FROM *** AT THIS TIME. OUR PRAYER IS THAT GOD WILL BLESS U IN YOUR CHRISTIAN WALK. GOD BLESS

P.S. FELL FREE TO COME WORSHIP WITH US ANYTIME, AS ------ AND I DO WHE WE ATTEND *** AS FORMER MEMBERS

I then responded with this:

Upon reading these words, one thing is still unclear to me. In the letter, I put that I was hoping that we were still a family. I will ask plain and clear: Am I still part of y'alls family? Is it still [our family]? I know that it may not be the same, but I want things to be the same before all of this? I want to be able to come home and then come to my second home. I want to be able to be a part of your life. I still care for you both, deeply. I thought that I put that in the letter but let me say it again, I love you deeply, miss you greatly, and want you both to be a part of my life miserably. You said that you want to be my friend, but I want you to be my Mom and Dad-a friend as well as my mother and father. Let me also say this again, I was not trying to put down anyone; I think words were taken out of context. Also, I may have a "new family," "new church" but my thoughts are not new just a different outlook. As far as putting a label on anything, I am not a Baptist-it may seem that way, but I am a Christian who just happens to worship at baptist church. So, again, am I still your Son or am I being cut off from the family?

Just a few minutes later, I was sent this e-mail:

MATTHEW-You are still our friend, but as we said the bond we had has been broken! As far as the family goes, your family supported you in your decisions. You need to belong to your family! THIS IS A GOOD THING. Sorry, but we feel you need to be with your own family. We feel since things are not the same, it is better for you and better for us. We pray that the Lord will work with you and help you with all the confusing things you need to work out. We did not take you from our family, you made that choice! god bless!!!

Reader, I hope that you have followed this story but now my question is this: After going through all of this, do I return to the home church that did not like my opinions for the 125^th anniversary of the church? Or do I do not? I have until the end of the month to decide and I am now asking you for your respectful opinions.

In need of answers.

~Matthew

Three Weeks Down

So it has been a while since my last edition of “MaDnEsS” and I wanted to apologize for not updating this blog for almost two weeks. Hopefully things will slow down to where I can update like I wanted to on Wednesdays and Saturday. However, let’s dive into this edition.

Three Weeks Down: A Life Lesson Already?

 

Yep. I have now completed my first three weeks of my sophomore year at Berea College. And only 14 weeks left to go until Christmas break! Okay so why am I counting down the days of school left if I wanted to be back here. Well honestly, I enjoy the atmosphere and not the school work. I was talking to someone this week and I was told that I am very intelligent person but sometimes it comes across that I know everything. You know what; I actually think I do know more than most people. I am 100% honest but seriously, I think I do know a lot more than most people just because that I have had to teach myself self-sufficiency when it comes to getting things done. With the self-sufficiency my schema of life has come to this: Everyone is idiots. Okay, that is a little harsh but this is my blog and I am being 100% honest with you.

So I was advised to reframe my concept of the fact that “Everyone is idiots” to “Everyone needs a friend.” What do friends and idiots have in common. Probably absolutely nothing, yet, where I have friendship issues and I desire everyone that I come into contact with to have one loyal friend in their life I need to start being that friend. So apparently, I need to come off my prideful soapbox and be a friend to people and not see people as idiots.

Three Weeks Down: Excitement All Around

One of my classes this year is called the Black Music Ensemble. It has been a little rough getting used to; however, it has been interesting in rehearsals and performing. What BME has taught within these first three weeks of classes is that: everyone needs to accept everyone, say a prayer to start the day off right, say a prayer to end the night, but also “I Smile” and that God is “Awesome” and that “God is Great.” Whenever I am having a bad day those songs come into my mind to remind of the excitement all around my life. Thank God for BME!!!

Three Weeks Down: A Common Letter to Share

This love letter was written by founder of The World Needs More Love Letters, Hannah Brencher. Brencher stands by the idea of writing a “Dear College” letter. This love letter was inspired by the love letter she wrote to herself on the first night of college. Brencher sealed the love letter in an envelope & did not open it until her graduation day in 2010.

Dear You–

It may just be you & I up and awake in the world right now.

Just you… the quiet of a new dorm room… the glow of the laptop screen… this love letter… and a feeling webbing deep in your stomach that you may never get used to all this.

Ever.

It’s not true. You’re going to do just fine. You’re already doing just fine even if it’s one of the hardest things to convince yourself of when the tears are brinking and you just want to go back home: Back to comfort. High school. A boyfriend & friendships now sitting in the pile of  “long distance.” Bonfires. Summer. Familiarity. Anything but this.

It’ll be the best four years of your life… that’s what they’re telling you, right? That—if done right—these next four years will sculpt you & change you & make you ready for the real world. Truth told: this is the real world. It’s yours. Stop thinking otherwise. Don’t let a moment more slip away.

These next four years are yours to be entirely & completely selfish.

To figure out “you” and how “you” make this world a better place. So start…

Start at the coffee bar. That’s a good place to start. Just visit the coffee bar and treat yourself to something sweet—you’re in college. It’s something to celebrate.

Knock awkwardly on the doors of your new neighbors. Everyone is waiting for someone to make the first move and plan a powwow. Be that person. Decide that tonight it is the football game and tomorrow it is popcorn and a movie night in your room. Pick a movie that is both drama & comedy, with traces of home & familiarity in it for each of you.

Befriend your RA. They are not the enemy. They are here to make every ounce of this easier for you… and they’d really appreciate the chance to try.

Call home when you have to. Cry your eyes out. Take slow slugs of the broth of homesickness in the morning.

It’s ok… It’s ok…

Let the homesickness in. Don’t push it out. Talk about it. Embrace it. It will head south eventually… I promise.

Write letters. To your friends at other schools. To your long distance boyfriend. To teachers back home. Glitter the maps with your cursive to one another. Give one another a reason to track back the campus mailbox for something other than a free pizza coupon. You’ll keep those letters for years & years. You’ll one day say that there is nothing like those letters you’ve kept stacked in a box beside your bed.

And on the note of friends… step away from Facebook for a little while. Not forever. Not for always. Just enough time to be present to the here & now. The meeting of new faces. The conversations at parties. The ice breakers that, yes, you clearly don’t want to do but should anyway. Be there for it. All of it. Don’t sit in the feeds of your friends back home; start new chapters that would make them proud.

Follow. Just follow wherever this year takes you. You’ll change. It’s inevitable. But don’t shy away from the change or the chance to develop into a better friend… a better leader… a better somebody. Accept it. When people grow distant and old relationships don’t fuel you anymore, just accept it. That’s life. It’s always happening. Clear away and cut the ties you need to cut… make room for Better & More. You’ll find best friends in this place…

Don’t go crazy looking for them. You’ll find one another and in a year from now you’ll wonder how there ever was a whole two decades of Not Knowing One Another. For now, just meet people. Sink into it naturally. You’ll get there. I promise. Just find the places where people are and start there.

A club. A meeting. The newspaper. Something. Anything. Not just for social purposes– your resume is going to start mattering sooner than you think… take it seriously.

And classes too—Go. To. Them. 8am or not—Show. Up.

Study. Try harder than you’ve ever tried before. Consider a time management course. Take at least one course that interests you… thrills you… makes you think. & don’t rush to choose a major. There’s time to get your feet wet with the muds of it all.

Most of all, embrace it. All of it. The new opportunities. The events on campus. The free stuff. The chance to grow apart from everything you’ve ever know. The chance to be someone you have always wanted to be…

Sit down during this first week of college… take out a piece of paper… and write it all down. Your hopes & your dreams  & your goals for the next four years. Who do you want to become? What do you want to accomplish? It’s time to start all of this.

Write it all down. Put it in an envelope. Seal it up and scribble “Do not open until college graduation day,” in big, bold letters. And tuck it somewhere safe…

Get clear on what you want to make of these next four years and then go out and do it…

You’ve got this. You’ve really got this. And if ever you start to believe that you don’t, come find me.

Love,

Someone who has been there before. 

Finally: A New Beginning

I really enjoy watching Ellen DeGeneres. I enjoy the monologue at the beginning of the show, her stand-up comedy with the people on the show, and her dancing. (Gotta love that dancing!) But one thing that I take away from Ellen—who is about to begin her 10^th season of Ellen on Monday, is that she cares. Ellen tries to make someone else’s life better every day. Rather it be a single mother without a job, a young teenager in search of a dream, or a PSA for the LGBT community. Ellen will be starting on Monday probably changing lives again. But my challenge to myself (and to you, if you wish) is to continue those Acts of Random Kindness (A.R.K) and bless someone else’s life and see what happens in yours.

*I hope that you have been inspired by the video clips and the “Letter to a Freshman.”*

~Matthew