Happy Birthday, Mom!

The following comes from an episode called Funeral of the FOX TV show Glee.

“I miss my Sister. Every night at 10 or so she used to call me on the phone and when I asked her why she’d tell me that ‘her body told her she wanted to hear my voice.’ I miss my Sister-the smell of her shampoo, the way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her they’re a part of you. It’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them. And now, every time I reach for that tether I know there’s no one on the other end, and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds. Is that too much to ask? For 10 more seconds to hold her? But I can’t and I won’t and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now, I’m just gonna miss her. I love you, Jeanie. Rest in peace.”

Today, would had been Mom’s 42^nd birthday if she was still alive. For the first time since 1999, I will celebrate it with my best friend and I will remember her through the words above. Let me explain why these words were spoken. A character on Glee named Sue Sylvester had a sister named Jean with Down syndrome. In the episode, Jean got pneumonia and passed away. The Glee club tries to help Sue through her grief and finally they do by singing Jean’s favorite song, Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Sue wrote this letter in the form of grieving at the funeral and I thought this would be a way for me to explain my feelings of my Mom, Recie.

Here is a gift that I made for Mom and I think it shows the family good. 

Family is a big thing for me and I wish that we were closer; however, that is not the case. “…Then I remember [Mom]. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my [Mother] so much…”

According to some, Mom pulled the family together whenever we were falling apart; I can understand that. Mom was a great women and a great person to learn things from. She is my inspiration for all of my goals that I have in my life. She taught me to stand up for what I believe in and she taught me to appreciate the small things in life and be a servant to others.

 I remember Mom helping out an older man who was a family friend. Monday through Friday, Mom would help the man out by taking him to his appointments as needed, grocery store, barber shop, and would help around his house. The man’s name was Joe. Joe was a nice man and every time we were out, he asked if anyone was hungry-Mom did not like Joe using his money on us. Mom would say no but of course, I would say YES! Anyway, Mom and Joe would argue over getting food for me and Mom and my sister for about 10 minutes each time saying that we were not in this for us but for him. Mom helped Joe out a lot and Joe would say, “Recie, Matthew is a growing boy. You help me out so let me help him and you all out.” Mom appreciated Joe a lot for just getting me a burger and fries when we were out. I don’t know if it was because I would shut up as I ate or not. J But anyway, Mom and Joe became really good friends and I remember him being very upset when Mom passed. Sadly, Joe would pass only a few months after Mom.

Mom made sure everyone was happy before herself-I am sure that is where I get my serving attitude. I would rather make other people happy than myself. Mom taught me to be a servant to others and not be selfish with our own desires. Mom did allow herself the pleasures of life but only when other people were met first. Mom enjoyed to party just as much as the next person; but she NEVER drank in front of us kids. Yes, it is time for another story. :) One night, Mom had a party-I remember the people coming over. Mom put me to bed and then assuming she enjoyed the party with her friends. I remember having a nightmare and I got up for Mommy. I entered the living room/kitchen of our trailer and she put her wine glass on the counter top in the kitchen while her friends went outside. She bent down, picked me up, and packed me to the couch. She started to sing softly to me while I twirled her hair with my fingers (that was how I always got to sleep). The next day when I awoke, I was in my bed. Mom did like to enjoy herself, but she made sure us kids were taken care of before her own. Mom was a great parent when making sure my sister and I were taken care of.

Like Sue wished for just 10 seconds, I do wish that I could hug Mom for just 10 seconds and tell her how much I loved her. Surely that is not too much to ask? I love Mom so, so much. A while back, I was talking to a friend of mine who told me that everything that I do is how I make Mom proud but more importantly, the people whom I touch with my service and with my love for her can see Mom through me. I had never thought of that and it really made me think about the actions that I do because if that is case, I want to make Mom proud and give her a great representation. Yes, I know that I have already done many things in my life but I cannot wait for what my future holds in my life to where I can tell everyone how great my Mom was and in essence, is.

It just dawned on me that I have some of my aunts and uncles yearbooks. I got to looking for them and I came across my Mother’s yearbook from 1981 from Jamestown Elementary when she was 11 in the 5^th grade. So here a couple of things written in Mom’s yearbook that I think link me to my Mother even more:

“Recie, I’ve enjoyed having you as a student. You’re a very, nice girl. Love, Mrs. Brewster.”

“Recie, to a very good friend. Stevie Roy.”

“To a friend of mine that I like a lot. Your friend, Peggy Mann.”

“To a very nice girl, stay that way and you’ll go far. Good luck next year, in everything you do. Your friend, Johnna Hudson.” (This was from an 8^th grader!)

So now, I will take a couple of written comments from my senior yearbook to see if there are any connections between Mom and me:

“Matt, you have a contagious personality. I like the fact that you feel very comfortable talking and sharing your ideas and thoughts with adults. You are someone that has the potential to truly ‘make a difference’ in our world. Thanks for all your effort in CP Chemistry. Your intelligence is obvious. May God lavish you with His blessings always. Sincerely, GK Allen.”

“Matt, I know I’m always being a hassle and a pain your butt ‘cause I’m so mean, but I appreciate all your help throughout our high school years. Yeah, you annoy me sometimes, but I’m always her for you. You’re a sweet guy with a kind heart. I hope life turns out exactly how you want it to. Good luck. Skyler.”

“Matt, over the years, you have been an amazing friend, you’ve helped me and talked to me and been here for me when it seemed as though no one else was. I want you to know that if you ever need me I’m here. And I really wish you the best after high school. I love you, Laura Shannahan.”

I see many comparisons already between my Mother and I and I am proud to be able to celebrate the things we have in common today as I am celebrating her 42^nd birthday. It is awesome looking back at my Mom in 5^th grade and seeing what her friends thought of her. Isn’t it amazing how her friends thought of her and what my friends thought of me? My friend is right, people can see my Mom in me. I think that is even more powerful than anything I have written so far.

 I know I think highly of her and I am proud of the Mom that I have and I think-I know-she is proud of me and everything that I do for other people and helping them out and then making myself happy after everyone else has the things they want; even if I highlight my hair red.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope that I have made it great for you and I wish that you were here to celebrate with me. I am celebrating for you though as you a part of me-well, you are. But you also  are seen in others eyes.

So for now, I’m just gonna miss her. I love you, Mommy. Rest in peace.

~Matthew

GOAL!!!!

So, if you know me, you know that I absolutely hate sports as I just don’t understand them and they do not interest me. However, this edition of “MaDnEsS” will be about all of my goals that I have for my future and hopefully, how I will attain them for the betterment of my future. Are you ready? On your mark. Get set. GO!

I do believe that my first goal is to have a car by the end of next summer. I plan on saving as much money as possible between now and May for a car. I do not care what it looks like as long as it gets me from point A to point B. I have plans for this car as my second goal for next summer is to have an internship not here in Russell County. I would like to have an internship in Lexington, Cincinnati, or even in Louisville. However, I have a lot of work to do between now and then because if I get my internship, I will have to have a car. Side note: If you have a will driving you to do something, do it!

Some of my other goals are to have a place of my own within the next two years. I do not see myself here in Russell County; however, if I am placed here, it would only be temporary as I do not see myself here in the next five years. Speaking of the next five years, let’s continue down the track of my future endeavors, shall we?

Coming round turn one would be to graduate from Berea College in the spring of 2015 with a B.A. in Psychology with a Peace and Social Justice minor after spending a semester abroad in Australia-wonder if I will find Kangaroo Jack? I would love to be able to graduate with honors from the college, so for the next year, I will have my nose to the grindstone making sure my grades are where they need to be. Upon graduating from Berea, I would like to enroll in Vanderbilt University in Nashville to pursue my Masters as well as my Ph.D.-or M.D. in Psychology if I decide to become a clinical psychologist. I see myself staying in Nashville for the four to five years that I am down at Vanderbilt as I love the city and I love the fact that Vanderbilt is such a great school to go to and graduate from. Nashville is a big, tourist city and I think I could live down there enjoying everything about the city. So, my sub-goal for the internship is the fact of getting something down there before I graduate-maybe even next summer! :)

As I would graduate from Vanderbilt, I would like to continue living in Nashville; however, if I find myself wanting to move, I think I would move up to Lexington, Cincinnati, or even Indianapolis to begin my career at the age of 27-30 (as this depends on how fast I complete my studies). My goal is to finish school by the time I am 28 and begin to live my life by the time I am 30 to make a career working with the special needs community and advocating for their rights.

Finishing round two would be my mid-life years of 35-45 as I would be comfortable in my career and enjoying what I love-after all, if you don’t love what you do, then it is only a job and nothing else. I would be happy and content with whatever my circumstances give me as I would have now been seeing the country through my summer vacations. :) I have a dream of to travel to every state of America by the time I am 50. Wouldn’t that be awesome to say that I have visited all 50 states by the time of my 50^th birthday? I find that to be awesome as this would be my curve number three.

Upon finishing the race at curve number four, I would have enjoyed my family time and enjoyed having my own business working with special needs as well as having my aunt be my secretary (I have already promised her the job). But after settling down in a town that I have come to love and enjoy, I would have a summer vacation spot that would be my favorite and then I would retire to Tennessee-probably somewhere in the Smokies. I would enjoy the Smokies until my death-morbid, yes, but planned greatly.

And crossing the finish line….

I want to be buried near my Mother at the church in Russell Springs, KY and be near her final resting spot. I apologize to my future spouse, but this is my wish now and I am sure I will not change it. If you don’t like, sorry. That is my wish.

So these are just a minor look at my goals for the future and desires for my life. Hope they all made sense to you-if you have questions, I would be more than willing to answer them on an upcoming edition of “MaDnEsS” and hope you enjoyed the run around the track.

~Matthew

Mr. Cape: Growing Up

These ten pictures all have one thing in common: ME! :) Yes, self-centered, but I have a point to being self-centered as this edition of MaDnEsS has its title of: Mr. Cape: Growing Up. Side note: Does any of the 90’s kids out there remember how they grew the Rugrats up to teenagers, but they cannot make grow SpongeBob up to being 13? It makes no sense to me! 

So I was talking to another friend today while I was sitting in the hospital waiting for my Dad’s surgery to be completed. In the completion of “Friends…,” I was suggested to make a list of positive qualities to keep to get rid of my negative thoughts of myself. Before I continue, let me go over the numbered pictures.

         

         1.       Picture of my Mom, Recie, my Sister, Michelle, and me in 1993.

         2.       Picture of me after my first sermon in 2006 with my, then minister, Pastor Larry

         3.       Casey and I in 2007

         4.       Russell County Hero Cover page in 2008

         5.       SkillsUSA Kentucky State Officer picture in 2010.

         6.       Picture of myself in 2011.

         7.       “Graduating” picture with the library family in May 2011.

         8.       Graduation 2011

         9.       Professional Photo brought to you by Berea College PR in September 2011.

       10.   Birthday bash at my aunt’s house just last month-May 2012…had to get a recent picture of myself. :)

So now, as part of my challenge from my friend of breaking the negativity in my life, I will now go through these 10 photos and come up with 10 different positive remarks about myself. So let’s begin with number 10. Like David Letterman, here is my Top Ten Positive Traits of one, Mr. Matthew L. Cape.

10. Celebrating family birthdays is a good, healthy thing. Get together more often.

9. I am a handsome young man. Believe it!

8. I am the first person in my family to graduate high school;

    how awesome is that?!

7. I can be myself around true friends, as they do not judge me.

6. I am there for everyone, including those who have wronged me.

5. I look good in any suit.

4. I am a hero in somebodies eyes, including Russell County, 

    for my advocacy against drug abuse.

3. I can make anyone smile, even on a cold, rainy Easter.

2. I done the Lord’s work in 2007, don’t stop.

And the number one positive trait about myself…

1.       I had a great Mom-I make her proud by being positive.

I have more things that have just came to mind as I read over this list including a letter of congratulations from President Barack Obama for completing more than 240 hours of community service hours in a 10 month period. Also, in high school, I completed more than 400 hours of community service hours-an average of 100 per year. A final positive quality of myself is the fact that I was accepted to Berea College. 

You know, I get goose bumps just reading this list! I guess positive traits do help one out, huh? 

The following was a text from my “Mother” Emily encouraging me one night:

You’re a great young man who speaks his mind for what he believes in. You are you! Be proud and stand tall, you have every right to! Don’t ever stop fighting for what you believe in. Most of all, don’t ever stop being yourself! You’re the best. This Mommy loves you and is very proud of you! 

Warning: About to turn to Disney as my final words of advice on myself and to you:

“But the world is full of zanies and fools

Who don’t believe in sensible rules,

And don’t believe what sensible say

And because these doubts and do-eyed doubts

Keep building impossible hopes,

Impossible things are happening every day!” (Roger’s and Hammerstein’s Cinderella) 

Bottom line: You can do anything you set your mind to and you will be a wonderful person!

In fact, I am growing up and I am changing which means one thing: Bigger MaDnEsS! :)

~Matthew

Mother's Day Special

My Own Thinking Healer Exceptionally Recognized

Does that mnemonic help you understand your mother? Do you see your mom in this mnemonic? I know I do! As previously mentioned, I only spent six years with my biological, earthly Mother. However, I learned a lot in those six years-some of which, I do not know if I have put into action. Here’s a shout out to the things I learned from Mommy.

           Three Strikes and you are out-sort of. 

a.       Mom allowed three strikes against a person before she would get rid of them or even fight them-Mom could fight anyone! I remember one time a neighbor made Mom mad three times and Mom was really mad about it because, in the argument, the neighbor brought my sisters and mine name into-NOTE: Do NOT bring children’s names in on Mothers!
That set Mom over the edge and Mom went to fighting against the neighbor. Normally, a person would not speak to a person whom they just beat up. However, Mom would let out her rage on anyone-argument, fight, or something else-but then she would not hold a grudge. With the neighbor, the next day she went up to talk to her as if nothing happened!

That lesson has been my number one memory of Momma. 

Fight for your Possessions

a.       But the story here comes from fighting with my Sister. Mom would let us fight with each other-tattling was highly discouraged unless someone was seriously hurt. NOTE: Continue to lesson three if you do not like fighting. J Anyway, my sister and I fought all the time (that’s what brothers and sisters do, right?) But if my sister took my toy and was being mean to her. I had to ask her to give it back. Then, if she didn’t give it back, I had to ask her again. Finally, on the third time, if she did not give it back, I had an option here. I could fight her (she always won) OR I could take something of hers. Mind you, she was a girly girl, so I didn’t take much but if there was something she enjoyed, you can bet your hard earned dollar I took it! Then, she would always fight against me to get it back. We would fight so long over something we would forget what we were fighting over-Mom never broke us up but Granny sure did. :) 

     Stand Up For The Truth

a.       Let me say, I have not learned this one fully, but it is a work a in progress. 

b.      Mom was told that I stole something from a neighbor’s kid-we never did have good neighbors, in my opinion. However, I told her that I didn’t do it. Never lie to your Mom. :) I was telling the truth to her. So she figured out if it could have been someone else to do it. Mom questioned all the neighborhood children about this toy that I “taken.” Until she found out what truly happened, the Mother of the one who said I stole it threw the toy out by accident! That same day, Mom had gotten me the same toy! Ironic, I would say! But anyway, Mom showed me that you go through the thick and thin to make sure the truth is told. I always tell the truth-with the exception of Poker-to make sure that everyone knows that I do tell the truth and that they can ask me anything. 

Lessons learned from Mom in a matter of six years on this earth with her have been an interesting blog for me. It brought back many memories of Mommy. I hope that you wish your Mom a very “Happy Mother’s Day” today but as well as every single day of the year. A very wise man once told me, “if Momma ain’t happy, no one is happy!” … I do agree! :)

Hope you enjoyed this special Mother’s Day blog and you could understand my MaDnEsS!

~Matthew

Prelude To Mother's Day

NOTE: This was written on May 12, 2012: NOTE!

 

It has been four days since I have wrote anything. In four days, a lot has happened. Some of which will not be posted here just for my own knowledge; but I will say that we disappoint ourselves more than other people.

However, Mother’s Day is just three hours away for me. Mother’s Day has never been a great holiday for me in honoring my Mother-Mothers would be used correctly here. I have many mothers on this earth and just for clarification, I will name them (but not in any particular order). 

Mother Emily

Mother Gina

Mother Jackie

Mother Sandra

Mother Recie

Granny-My mother of 13 years. 

Anyway, all of these Moms have played a great part in my upbringing. Let me say that they may have not known it, but I still love and respect, and look up to each of them greatly. Even if I do not speak to them on a daily basis, I love them dearly because they have all been there for me in some way or another-helping me grow in everything that I have done. Yet, I write all of this for a reason. 

When I use the word “love” in the sense of Mothers, I use it as deep as it can go because my biological and worldly mother, did pass away when I was 6 years old but these other women have not taken her place, but simply acted as an “interim” so to speak. However, one mother was in my life for three years and helped me greatly. It doesn’t matter what has happened since my heartbreak of being told that I am not her “chosen son” any more-because I still love her deeply. I still want her in my life and I still want to make her proud, I want her to be there for me as I go through all kinds of personal struggles-friendship, grades, professors, jobs, and grad school hunting just for the foreseen future endeavors. I want her to encourage me in every decision, but still know that if I make a decision that she does not approve of, she will still be there no matter what! To me, that is what being a Mom is all about-being supportive of the child whom you call son or daughter.

Some of the following characteristics are what a mother is supposed to be according to the Bible as seen in reference to Proverbs 31:10-31. Note: these are random words taken from it so please look it up for yourself if you want a complete description of “a wife of noble character.”

Worth more than rubies, food bearer, works vigorously, extends her hands to the needy, she is clothed with strength and dignity, children call her blessed, and finally, “many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

So now we come to being the Devil’s Advocate here and use what a mother is secularly:

Controlling, as seen from the character of Lois from Malcolm in the Middle*

Desperate, as seen in any character from Desperate Housewives*

Feisty, as seen in the character of Piper from Charmed*

Constraining, as seen in the character of Barbra Jean from Reba*

Or even

Promiscuous, as seen from Sherri Shepherd from The Newlywed Game*

*This is only taken from my own personal opinion*

Anyway, these horrible verbs from the secular side of “mother’s day” are words that I hear from people-who for whatever reason-find their mother to be classified as these horrible adjectives. However, Mother’s Day to me, is the best-worse day of the year. Best because I get to hear so many people tell wonderful stories of their mothers, but it’s the worse because so many people say they do not like their mom or worse, they hate her. As I have come to realize, you can not control every situation-yes, I want to!-but one can not control every situation of every day! And, we can not control who is our mother and who is not.

As mentioned, I have many mothers on this earth, six are mentioned. Those six have (for some, had) many things that I classify as “Mom.” In fact, in the living room, my granny has a “H.U.G” award that me and my sister gave to her for Mother’s Day in 1995 (I think that is what the date is). But anyway, do you know what the letters stand for? Well they mean, “Heart Uf Gold” award. This year, to each of my mother’s listed, I award them-even if I do not talk to them on a daily basis, I grant to them on this 12^th day of May-two hours prior to Mother’s Day-of 2012, the “H.U.G.” award. Congratulations from your Son whom watches you everyday and wants to make you proud and wants to make you happy in everything I do.

Mom, I love you and miss you greatly. Mother Emily, thank you for being there and saying you are proud of me. Mother Gina, thank you for just being there for me for the year we got to know each other. Mother Jackie, I will always remember your heart that you welcomed me into. Mother Sandra, I learned to be stubborn but loving for you. Granny, so many things learned and so many things that I want to say thank you for.

So for this madness entry, I would like to challenge each of you to remember you mother and say, “I love you” to her-in any form you like. Here’s an idea: an old fashioned letter! Yes, it is slow and long to get to, yet they can keep in their keepsake chest and then say “thank you dear, that meant a lot to me” to you.

Ranting about Mother’s Day has been hard for me and it hasn’t even started for me yet! So, right now, I will finish up, shut down my computer, and go to bed.

Thanks for reading this entry and hope you could follow the MaDnEsS on this journey!

~Matthew