Happy Birthday, Mom!

The following comes from an episode called Funeral of the FOX TV show Glee.

“I miss my Sister. Every night at 10 or so she used to call me on the phone and when I asked her why she’d tell me that ‘her body told her she wanted to hear my voice.’ I miss my Sister-the smell of her shampoo, the way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her they’re a part of you. It’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them. And now, every time I reach for that tether I know there’s no one on the other end, and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds. Is that too much to ask? For 10 more seconds to hold her? But I can’t and I won’t and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now, I’m just gonna miss her. I love you, Jeanie. Rest in peace.”

Today, would had been Mom’s 42^nd birthday if she was still alive. For the first time since 1999, I will celebrate it with my best friend and I will remember her through the words above. Let me explain why these words were spoken. A character on Glee named Sue Sylvester had a sister named Jean with Down syndrome. In the episode, Jean got pneumonia and passed away. The Glee club tries to help Sue through her grief and finally they do by singing Jean’s favorite song, Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Sue wrote this letter in the form of grieving at the funeral and I thought this would be a way for me to explain my feelings of my Mom, Recie.

Here is a gift that I made for Mom and I think it shows the family good. 

Family is a big thing for me and I wish that we were closer; however, that is not the case. “…Then I remember [Mom]. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my [Mother] so much…”

According to some, Mom pulled the family together whenever we were falling apart; I can understand that. Mom was a great women and a great person to learn things from. She is my inspiration for all of my goals that I have in my life. She taught me to stand up for what I believe in and she taught me to appreciate the small things in life and be a servant to others.

 I remember Mom helping out an older man who was a family friend. Monday through Friday, Mom would help the man out by taking him to his appointments as needed, grocery store, barber shop, and would help around his house. The man’s name was Joe. Joe was a nice man and every time we were out, he asked if anyone was hungry-Mom did not like Joe using his money on us. Mom would say no but of course, I would say YES! Anyway, Mom and Joe would argue over getting food for me and Mom and my sister for about 10 minutes each time saying that we were not in this for us but for him. Mom helped Joe out a lot and Joe would say, “Recie, Matthew is a growing boy. You help me out so let me help him and you all out.” Mom appreciated Joe a lot for just getting me a burger and fries when we were out. I don’t know if it was because I would shut up as I ate or not. J But anyway, Mom and Joe became really good friends and I remember him being very upset when Mom passed. Sadly, Joe would pass only a few months after Mom.

Mom made sure everyone was happy before herself-I am sure that is where I get my serving attitude. I would rather make other people happy than myself. Mom taught me to be a servant to others and not be selfish with our own desires. Mom did allow herself the pleasures of life but only when other people were met first. Mom enjoyed to party just as much as the next person; but she NEVER drank in front of us kids. Yes, it is time for another story. :) One night, Mom had a party-I remember the people coming over. Mom put me to bed and then assuming she enjoyed the party with her friends. I remember having a nightmare and I got up for Mommy. I entered the living room/kitchen of our trailer and she put her wine glass on the counter top in the kitchen while her friends went outside. She bent down, picked me up, and packed me to the couch. She started to sing softly to me while I twirled her hair with my fingers (that was how I always got to sleep). The next day when I awoke, I was in my bed. Mom did like to enjoy herself, but she made sure us kids were taken care of before her own. Mom was a great parent when making sure my sister and I were taken care of.

Like Sue wished for just 10 seconds, I do wish that I could hug Mom for just 10 seconds and tell her how much I loved her. Surely that is not too much to ask? I love Mom so, so much. A while back, I was talking to a friend of mine who told me that everything that I do is how I make Mom proud but more importantly, the people whom I touch with my service and with my love for her can see Mom through me. I had never thought of that and it really made me think about the actions that I do because if that is case, I want to make Mom proud and give her a great representation. Yes, I know that I have already done many things in my life but I cannot wait for what my future holds in my life to where I can tell everyone how great my Mom was and in essence, is.

It just dawned on me that I have some of my aunts and uncles yearbooks. I got to looking for them and I came across my Mother’s yearbook from 1981 from Jamestown Elementary when she was 11 in the 5^th grade. So here a couple of things written in Mom’s yearbook that I think link me to my Mother even more:

“Recie, I’ve enjoyed having you as a student. You’re a very, nice girl. Love, Mrs. Brewster.”

“Recie, to a very good friend. Stevie Roy.”

“To a friend of mine that I like a lot. Your friend, Peggy Mann.”

“To a very nice girl, stay that way and you’ll go far. Good luck next year, in everything you do. Your friend, Johnna Hudson.” (This was from an 8^th grader!)

So now, I will take a couple of written comments from my senior yearbook to see if there are any connections between Mom and me:

“Matt, you have a contagious personality. I like the fact that you feel very comfortable talking and sharing your ideas and thoughts with adults. You are someone that has the potential to truly ‘make a difference’ in our world. Thanks for all your effort in CP Chemistry. Your intelligence is obvious. May God lavish you with His blessings always. Sincerely, GK Allen.”

“Matt, I know I’m always being a hassle and a pain your butt ‘cause I’m so mean, but I appreciate all your help throughout our high school years. Yeah, you annoy me sometimes, but I’m always her for you. You’re a sweet guy with a kind heart. I hope life turns out exactly how you want it to. Good luck. Skyler.”

“Matt, over the years, you have been an amazing friend, you’ve helped me and talked to me and been here for me when it seemed as though no one else was. I want you to know that if you ever need me I’m here. And I really wish you the best after high school. I love you, Laura Shannahan.”

I see many comparisons already between my Mother and I and I am proud to be able to celebrate the things we have in common today as I am celebrating her 42^nd birthday. It is awesome looking back at my Mom in 5^th grade and seeing what her friends thought of her. Isn’t it amazing how her friends thought of her and what my friends thought of me? My friend is right, people can see my Mom in me. I think that is even more powerful than anything I have written so far.

 I know I think highly of her and I am proud of the Mom that I have and I think-I know-she is proud of me and everything that I do for other people and helping them out and then making myself happy after everyone else has the things they want; even if I highlight my hair red.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope that I have made it great for you and I wish that you were here to celebrate with me. I am celebrating for you though as you a part of me-well, you are. But you also  are seen in others eyes.

So for now, I’m just gonna miss her. I love you, Mommy. Rest in peace.

~Matthew