Punctual Obscene Raw Nemesis

This past couple of weeks have been really, really hard for me and I have had a lot go on in my mind. But one thing remains the messages from God that I have received from sermons, friends, and conversations. Before I begin, let me pray.

Father, You know my heart and You know that I am terribly afraid of what people will think of me. But then again, I only need You. As I write what you have laid on my heart, please allow me to come across tactful and allow me to use the resources that you have given me to get this message across. I pray that You will speak to anyone who reads this and I pray that the story that You have laid upon my heart will not hinder anyone’s journey with You but instead will strengthen it and allow people to see You  instead of me. Father, I do not want to take Your glory as this is what it is all about. Again, use me to Your advantage and allow people to see You instead of me. In Your Son’s name, Amen.

I Like It by Enrique Iglesias.

Who Dat Girl by Flo Rida.

 Candyman by Glee Cast.

Do You Wanna Touch Me by Glee Cast.

Teenage Dream by Glee Cast.

Animals by Nickelback.

Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

 It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy.

I Can Make You A Man by Tim Curry.

Dirty Dancer by Usher, Lil Wayne, and Enrique Iglesias.

10 songs are above. 10 songs in which I sadly have on my Spotify list of My Tunes. 10 songs in which have some type of sexual link to them. I will not go into detail in this but some of them are very detailed in one’s sex life or desires for sex. Is this bad? Is this something that I should be listening to? A final question to think about…is this pornography? According to Merriam-Webster online:

Definition of PORNOGRAPHY

1: the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement

2: material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement

3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>

Please read the following and then I will return to my writing to come back to this question.

The following is an abbreviated form of a sermon by Matt Chandler from the Village Church. You can find the podcast in i-Tunes from the sermon called, “Freedom in the Fight” or follow this link: http://feeds.feedburner.com/TVCSermonAudio

The bible says that sex goes beyond a physical act: “..a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Gen. 2:24).” Hebrew word for marital connective sex is: dode.  A literal meaning is: mingling of souls. Sex is not just a physical act. It’s a mere physical act to put your mind, heart, and soul at risk.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. (I Cor. 6:15-17). Sex outside of marriage is a sin outside our bodies!

God’s plan of sex is far better than the world’s definition of sex in a marriage: Spiritually, Emotionally and physically which makes the satisfaction of the act occur. When we are treating sex as just as a physical act, we are damaging our soul.

All data-secular and Christian-points to the reality that our view of sexuality is not eradicating loneliness or creating environments that sustain mutual respect among genders nor is it creating environments where children are healthily sustained and encouraged. And it is not doing the things that it promises to do!

Our culture is so displeased with sex that it is more concerned about the technique than frequency of sex—just look at Cosmopolitan or Men’s Health and you will see magazine articles about how to “drive your [mate] wild.” Frequency is not solving anyone’s despair! Sex is a part of spiritual, emotion, and relationship connectivity. Outside of God’s connection, sex will NOT get us satisfaction!!!

When did our sexuality become the definition of ourselves? We over-sexualize everything now!

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 7:28. Lustful intent: taking from another person (mentally) what is not yours! Number one way that we meet this lustful intent is through: Pornography and Fantasy.

• Pornography is illicit material. From images to clips, catalogs, romance novels, etc. Anything that can create an alternate reality that creates an attitude to what you do not have. Pornography and Fantasy therefore dehumanizes people.

The next time you click on that link, or when you stare at that check-out clerk, or looking   at the magazine at a book store, think of their stories! That is somebodies sister, daughter, son, or dad! Do you realize that? They have a story!

Pornography takes in more money than all three professional sports-basketball, baseball, football-COMBINED! We are spending more on pornography than those sports!!! But do you ever think of what happened to those men, those women to get them to that type of desperation? No matter the smiles on their faces in the porn industry, those actions are dehumanizing the people involved! We are eating it up as if there is no real loss at all!

• Pornography rewires our brain. When we view pornography, we are creating pathways in our brain. Simply think of Pavlov’s dogs. As we get to the satisfaction, we then get rewired that the porn can only be used to fulfill our desires.

We can get to the point of where sometimes we only desire porn than a real person! John Mayer did an interview with Playboy Magazine and in that interview he highly praised internet pornography. Do you realize who he is dating? He has dated some of the most beautiful women yet he still would rather have his computer.

Instead of a real person, people like this think “I would rather just sit in my living room with my pants around my ankles.” That happens when we rewire our brain with porn! Some men and women have issues making love to their spouses without first viewing pornography. How would that make the spouse feel?

• Simply put, Porn is corrosive!

This is such a serious issue to your soul! Look at what Jesus said, [insert Mtw. 5:29-30]. This is a serious call to action! We now have to battle this on two different fronts-spiritual and physical! Sex is everywhere but we need a two-prong attack.

• The greatest weapon is a vibrant, growing relationship with Jesus Christ. BEST weapon!

Christianity is not a list of do’s or don’ts but it is a living relationship with Christ! Without a relationship with Jesus Christ, you will always have lustful intent. With Jesus Christ, that good looking guy or beautiful woman soon stops being an object and soon becomes a sister or a brother. This allows that dehumanizing of people to stop. We want to be studying the word of God not to know the word of God but to know the God of the word!

• Use your Wisdom!

What you allow in your home in regards via internet, cable, or even Facebook! Be careful and realize that this is dangerous. So maybe you need to shut down your Facebook page and stop fishing.

If you are single, you should not lay down together on a couch at 11:00 PM and watch a movie. Isn’t that going to end a certain way? If you’re “Let’s get in our pajamas and watch a movie” and it is 11 o’clock at night, that is ending someway!

Walking in wisdom is seeing men and women as a brother and sister but more importantly as souls, hearts, and see them as sons and daughters of the King.

Don’t feel the weight of shame, here. But it is my prayer that you will feel convicted. This text requires action. So do you have to pluck out your eye or cut off your hand? What will that look like? Sometimes we need to respond to the word of God by confession and repentance. My hope for you is relationally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically is that you will enjoy everything in God. Thankfully the cross gives us mulligan-a do-over. Please do the do-over. Lay this issue down at His feet and let your healing begin.

Now back to the MaDnEsS.

So with Webster’s definition and then Matt Chandler’s definition of pornography, the songs on my Spotify list are essentially pornography, right? And they are also something that I must get rid of—I will speak about that momentarily.

Pornography—as seen in this sermon—is a serious, serious issue! Porn use is inherently self-centered and is only about fulfillment. A different way to put one of the points mentioned above is: “When it comes to fulfillment, fantasy can’t compete with reality” (Kevin Slemp, Sacred Sexuality, September 23, 2012). 

What were you doing at age four? Like most four year olds, I would hope that you were watching Sesame Street or Barney or even Tom & Jerry but I would also hope that you were in preschool (or kindergarten) gaining education. Sadly, when I was around four, I was introduced to pornography. This was detrimental to me as I would gain an addiction to pornography and still have an issue getting away from it.

THERE IS HOPE!!! “Through God’s forgiveness and grace, and only by His grace, we can be the loving, pure people that God wants us to be” (Kevin Slemp). I feel very much like Paul when he wrote in Romans chapter seven verse eighteen, For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right but not the ability to carry it out.

We all get tempted with desires in our own heart. Unfortunately, I have given people whom I feel are friends the wrong message. This fall semester, I have discussed pornography at minimum a dozen times. At minimum!!! What does that say about my relationship with God? It simply says that I want what this world has to offer instead of waiting on my reward that He will grant to me but more importantly, what He is preparing for me.

Eventually—I am sure—God will grant to me a wife and a family. I will have to tell her of this issue but my desire is to not have this be an issue in our marriage. I do not want to look at a woman sexually until I am married to her—that is another entry for another time. I also know that I can start preparing my heart now for the marriage. What that means is that I have to amputate—or pluck out—everything that causes me to sin or even could cause me to sin.

This is includes but not limited to: Music, Movies, Books, Magazines, Internet Access, and possible friends.  As I just typed out that sentence, I deleted the playlist entitled, “My Tunes” in which some of the songs where found. I simply do not need them. I am not going to tell you what to do but I know that I do not need songs, movies, or anything else that can make sin sexually because I do not want my mind rewired to where I do not find the gift of sex with my future wife to not be a gift but instead an unsatisfaction. 

I put Internet Access. That is my trigger. What is yours? Is there something that you know of that causes you to fall sexually? Is there something that you can get rid of to make your journey on this Earth better? Or even more important, is there something that you can do to make your walk with God improved? Right now, I am trying to do everything that I can to make sure that my walk with the Lord is as great as it can be and listing every obstacle that I can think of to where I can follow Him better. I am not being horrible but instead, I am calling on Jesus to get closer to Him and allow Him to guide my life to where I can be a light even in the darkness.

As I end, please watch this video and just think about everything in this 2,000 plus word entry. This entry may not needed to be posted but this is something that I needed to do and something that may help someone else.

Father, as I think of everything that has been said, I pray for anyone struggling with pornography or sexual immorality. I know that being in that place is a dark and lonely place to be. Father, I pray that You will put someone in the life of anyone struggling with porn addiction to where Your son or daughter may be drawn closer to You. Father, I ask that You bless each and every person who has read this and I ask that You send the Holy Spirit down to make sure that Satan does not twist what has been written but instead Your Spirit will show Your loving mercies and grace to anyone who Satan changes to condemnation. I know, Father, that there is NO condemnation in You—pass that on to anyone who needs to know that. Father, I pray for myself that You will help me continue to seek You and allow You to work in my life. I ask all of this in Your Son’s name. Amen.