Friday, December 7, 2012

A Letter To Mom

Mom,

I really need you right now. I need you to hug me with those tender hands and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need to hear from you that all the worries that I have will all work out. I need to know that you are proud of me and that you are rooting for me all the way even if I do get a C in my religion class. Mom, I love you and miss you greatly. I want to cry just to where I know that you are there for me wiping away my tears. I want to hold your hand and play with hair as I drift off to sleep—that was always the trick that made me go to sleep, wasn’t it, Mom? It’s funny how in my deepest rut, I can always think of you and smile. I your brown hair in mind and your pretty smile and then your love for me in mind as I write this…it’s almost Christmas, Mom. I miss going through all the neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve and then going home to put cookies and milk out for Santa. I miss you Mom. I don’t want anything for Christmas this year but one thing—I want the family together. I know that that is going to be crazy to happen and hell may freeze over while it happens, but I want to get the family together for Christmas but more importantly, I want you physically just for 5 seconds. I want to hug you and tell you that I love you and everything that I do, I hope that I am making your proud. Mommy, I miss you, I want you here with me right now as I struggle with classes, friendships, desires for relationships and everything else that is going on. I want you to sing me to sleep and wipe all the tears from my eyes. Mom, I love you and I miss you…I want to make you proud. With everything getting to me, I feel like I am disappointing you because I am not being strong enough as I just want to throw everything into a fire, go into the shower stall, and let the warm water run over me to ease my pain of missing you and the struggles which is going on. Mommy, I miss you and I can’t hug you so I guess for now I am still going to miss you and I for now I am going to go to bed, curl into a ball, and think of you whispering in my ear that everything will work out, I love you, and it’s okay to cry. 



I want my Mommy back in my life…is that too much to ask?

Love your little baby boy.

Matty

Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Puzzle of Life

“My life is over.”
“This will be the death of me.”
“I will be glad when this project is over.”

The final week of class is upon us as college students and so many things are happening but you know what…WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS. You want to know how I know this? Because we got through it last year and the year before that. The final week of classes (as well as finals) will not kill you but instead get you closer to your goal of completing school as well as getting your degree and get you on your future endeavors.

But what happens if you happen to get an “F” in one of your classes for your major? Or cannot seem to get approval to be in the major you want. For some, it is simply “not meant to be.” For others, “It’s not part of the design of my life.” And for myself and others like me, “God did not have it planned for me.” Now, don’t run off yet because I went all Christian but this post is for everyone.

Look at this picture. What do you see? Yes, it is a puzzle piece but think of it this way. This is one stage of your life. Think of it as a present stage in your life right now. For me, it is getting through finals week, thinking about family struggles, relationships with friends…everything that is going on right now. How am I to make sense of this piece in the grand scheme of life? I may only see this small puzzle piece right now but they are other puzzle pieces in my life right now.
They are all right there. Each puzzle pieces represents stages of my life or people in my life or struggles in my life that makes my ultimate life on this earth a pretty picture in the end.

The above picture is what the puzzle pieces together would make—I promise. But at times in our lives we wonder if we are making the right decisions or the right relationship with people or even if everything that we have done is right for ultimate destiny.

Reader, if you are not spiritual, please note that this applies to you as well as the spiritual one. We all have a design in this world and we are all interconnected as well are all made with the same basic concept of DNA and we all die the same way as in the form or ashes. So we are all the same. Today’s actions affect tomorrow’s events but at times we don’t know what is going on in the universe. Just because it seems bad now doesn’t mean it is not going to work out.

Everything will work out for the ultimate beauty of life. Know how I know? Well, I don’t know but I do know that every struggle a person faces, they are people who have been through the same struggle. Yes, college students, every person who has already graduated has faced the dreaded 1000 word essay or 25 page study or even the dissertation of something to get a Ph.D. The work may have been hard to do but look where the ones who completed the work are! For these men and women who have completed the tasks required of them, they are doing what they wanted to do in life and they kept going through the struggles of induced stress to make it to the ultimate goal of theirs. Everything works out in the time that it is meant to happen.


“Away in a Manger” is a beautiful Christmas hymn in which speaks of the birth of Jesus in a peaceful tone and it speaks of the sweet little Jesus being born in a manger…would you say that this is what you think of when hearing that song?

But Jesus Christ was born into something like this.

You see, the manger was used to welcome in a King but can be compared to the single puzzle piece above as Mary and Joseph could not understand what was going on in the grand scheme of God’s plans to have His Son born in a pigsty in the ultimate plan for salvation. So to Mary and Joseph, they were thinking, “God, what are you doing? This makes no sense. We don’t understand.” Well, you don’t have to understand everything because God has everything taken care of with all the plans that He has and everything that He will do to show His love to the world and you know what? His brain will not even explode from thinking about everything like yours and mine does.

So when you think that everything is not going to work out with everything that is going on in. Think of this flow of pictures: the little piece is just a stage in your life where other pieces intertwine to make something beautiful in the end.




Everything will work out. I promise. You can make through this week of final classes and finals and then you can enjoy your break…I promise!